Dear diary…
today, i opened my friendster and read all comments from friends. miss all of you.one of the comments posted by my xroomate got me thinkin:
Halimah
Posted 08/06/2007 03:51
u are a girl full of courage yet so brilliant..i know u wont let all the challenges to let u down.. go for it, girl!!! u can do much more better once you try it!!! u have all my support!!!
I suddenly felt a sudden burst of a mixture of emotions. mostly confusion.am i couragous? no…am i brillaint? no…. im flattered, happy to be thought that way but mainly confused… am i what people potray me as? thanks im, i appreciate your comment though, got me smiling anyway…
sampai kelantan at 3:30am on wednesday last week… woke up early in the morning.. a far relative just passed away…me, my mom and my grandma went to visit the family of the deceased.i was shocked though to see how the kampung people were so close to each other.different from the city. orang kampung from other kampung can know each other and know me. got me confused,ashamed when they come up and ask bout me when i dont remember them at all… all i can do is smile and reply nicely…
well, i felt sad when i saw the wooden box-like place used to bathe arwah. kampung people are different from city people, they will provide a bathing place for the decease either built in their homes or something else. i thought ‘fateema, one day, youll be in that place, being bathed before you meet your grave’…i felt sad… following my mom and holding on to my old granma, they led me to the living room where many women and ladies were talking to each other sitting n the floor.I remembered why islam teaches us to visit the deceased family.its because at this time, we get to meet relatives that we never knew/dont have time to visit, remember ourselves bout death and give support to the family.
suddenly, an old lady came up and hugged my granma while crying. i knew then they were close. it seemed she missed her old friends alot. I knew then that she knew death was around the corner for heror one of her old friends.from sitting their i heard the old lady talk bout how her husband left peacefully.he was sick before but suddenly he was able to walk and sit outside.he was able to go to the loo and such before he passed away… it was sad.. and i shed a few tears. i knew that one day one of my loved-ones will leave me and i will never hear their voice again…it hurts but…i’ll have to face it one day. i just hope that that day will never happen…but in reality, i just have to be prepared.
after that, went to visit my uncles house. kelantan people are just so friendly…my mom is the eldest, so im the eldest cousin.i love playing with kids and my younger cousins love to hear stories from me and play along.i see them grow up and cant believe how small they used to be. now, they are so hansome and pretty… hehe..played ping pong in a baju kurung and won most of the time.haha..who cares what others say… i just love playing with kids:)
the next day, went to another distant relative house. another sad story here. the mother is still a teacher but have to take care of her son. a married man with 4 kids and a jobless wife.. he had an accident were his car crashed into a post trying to avoid a stupid lorry which reversed at a T-juntion. now, his half of his body is paralyzed and he’s blind. all he can do is sit in his room and moan…
i shed a tear when the mother and wife had to hold him to carry him out to the living room.my mom kept telling him to hold on,he could do it and be patient. he kept moaning he was thirsty and it was hot. because of his blindness, he accidently knocked the cup of sirap..it was a very sad sight. we never know when one day, Allah will take away our senses so we should always bersyukur.
The next day, i went to see a piece of land beside the lake. its been a long time before i went through paya bakau and such.it was a long walk, but i loved it.the place was beautiful and peaceful.. being in the country is a nice place. after that, i went to my uncles house, was suprised when suddenly 2 lambs came running towards me.suddenly i learnt that my uncle had a few sheeps, so i went behind the house being followed by the 2 lambs and saw chickens,a kitten and rabbits. hehe…it felt like a petting zoo..i petted the lambs and laughed at the sight of the their tails. they were as tame as dogs!i loved them!hehe…life in kampung was a nice one….
The next day, went shopping at KB mall and pasar besar lama. i found my B.U.M. purse at last!!! hehe…thought i’ll never find that wallet. then went shopping for kain and tudung…hehe…when you have money…everything goes…:)but when you dont..telan air liur jerla:P
it was time to go home, and i felt i wil miss my granma. she was old, and i might never have the chance to hear her moan about how old she was…on the way, stopped to buy akok….just after genting sempah, the pajero brakes stopped working. but my dad took over and drove slowly all the way to shah alam using the handbrakes…
now, im peacefully safe at home…. a memory of kelantan will still reside in me for a while… im glad i still have the oppertunity to get to know how living in a village is like… some of my friends dont..
well.. thats all for know…. wish everyone is havng a happy time now with thier lives…take care xxx
