TeeMs~Journal

my main hobby is drawing and writing..since small… ive never even let go one of them… i have 3 books of sketches of wonderful buildings…(everytime i see them im still amazed and cant belive that i drew them)…love the feeling when i finished one masterpiece…

the next is writing…eventhough my spelling isnt on the perfect level but i write poems and currently writing  story of my own…. but.. im still ashamed to let anyone read it, not too keen on any comments …since small.. ive had a wonderful imagination…and through my writing, i could let my imagination grow… its funny u know, not all can understand a grownup with childhood fantasies and stories in her brain…i can turn a boring tattered house into an adventurous pleasure world in my own head easily….

being an adult, most of this creative mind has been pushed deeply to sleep away and logic is implanted above it… yep.. i become a boring person… but sometimes, the creative mind lets loose and i find myself becoming an investigator searching for something to happen around the corner…when *pop!* i suddenly realize that im plain fateema dzulkifli again.. it only comes out for a few minutes though…but its fun:)

thinking about it. my bf is the only one who accepts me as i am…im relived that when my creative mind comes spontaniously, he doesnt put an impression im childish or out of my mind.. he just plays along or laughs out load….gets me ashamed sometimes… but maybe… an adults life is just too pure boring? movies like harry potter becomes food to my creative mind…and no doubt, i love stories like that…thumbs up to the author for creating such a fantastic world in London.. really reminds me of where i grew up in…england….

kelakar tol..hehe…tadi train si syed with the risk inventory system  while paman razak n paman nizam sibuk kemas belakang nak sambut the new xray machine… open the back grill of the office and i had my first glance of the back alley… gross! the upstair tennants are sooo disgusting… indonesians are such dirty people (from my experience, if ur an indonesian reading this, and a clean person, i apologise) our longkang penuh sampai betis with sampah tau! my dad said he just cleaned it the last time we opened the back grill… klau ada spotcheck nyamuk, gerenti our kedai kena saman punya…

the xray machine sampai n they all started packing the stuff into the office…heavy!..i just look lah..hehe…thats a mans job…next task was to open it all up..banyaks angat kotak..so i suggested to paman razak to make one of the large boxes to a playhouse for his kids..i volenteered to make it.. he agreed and i started my work… tiber2 my mom came in and asked y the xray looked funny… rupanya xray machine for vets!hahahaha..kena pack balik and the box i was using to make a playhouse, had to be returned..haha…just imagine the face of the person who was going to open the package of the xray machine after this… surely he would wonder y one of the boxes had a window and flowers on it..haha..hillarious!

rezeki ditangan tuhan..alhamdulillah…. lepas satu2 project i get…so eventhough not working permanently, im doing my own business developing softwares…before this, the risk inventory system i developed was mainly for standalone… whole night i configure the system so that it could be used through networking… just now finished installing on 4 computers and testing was ok…2morow training….tried to make the system as user friendly as possible…hope everything ok…

next project is quotation printing system and jobsheet system to develop…their will be a koku system needed in sept, but that masih unclear yet…next week confirmkan… nmpknya i’ll be a bz girl lately….

u know lah..currently… i dont have a full-time job..insyaAllah next month i’ll be employed… dis company im doing part-time just hired me to do a school attendance system to configure wid their current fingerprint system.. took me 2 weeks of development, something new coz i needed to configure my system according to the clients system and the fingerprint system…siang mengajar..malam coding…yup..penat..tapi sbb minat….so xkisahlah…anyway.. i learnt so much while doing the system. the tech support thats helping me get the user requirement n testing my system is a friendly guy.. like him so much! so nice! so for a week i meet him at his office to do testing..my laptop ok..but so many bugs when configure on his laptop! so by solving them, i learnt so much…yesterday i followed him to sri cahaya private school… i wanted to see the real life environment that my system will be put into use…

so the story continues…yesterday, my installer got problem.. and hampalah coz the text file my system was to read got error messages when synchronizing…the text file was different from what i got when developing the system… so go home and code again and find all the bugs and solved them(all i did while watching a ghost movie)…hehe….today, go again to sri cahaya… and wallah! eventhough got some stuck here and there… my system working fine! just had to configure the computer system to suit mine..got the system running through the network..and so far so good…penat loooo….

hopefully, that company would hire me next month…(amin)… they tend to hire me considering i did a good job…im so proud of myself!hahahahaha…..i took full responsibility and i feel i have something if did my job right…thank you CTI for giving me the chance to learn while making your program…and thank you fateema for never giving up when u dealt wid so many bugs and errors during the whole night staying up…hehe……..

tanggal 15 August 2007, was my last day i came to school as a teacher… being a teacher was so sweet that i frgot my last day???? i was reminded on the 16 August at the teachers room… i completely forgot..the first thing that made my heart break was the thought of not seeing my beloved students again….. i loved them so much eventhough i have only been teaching them for around 2 months…

i hated goodbyes so i said goodbye to some teachers and thought of leaving quickly before i met my students… i saw azad and afiq  from 4permai n being their class teacher, i reminded them of their koko book and yuran…it took a lot of courage…ashraf 4gemilang sapa me about seeing me at the shops..hehe…that was sweet, i couldnt hold myself anymore and headed for the toilet so no one could see me break down… but i ws greeted and stopped by my 4murni students..i couldnt hold it and cried….ive become a soft hearted person lately and i realize this:)

the feeling of seeing them all kumpul and suddenly students from my other classes came to sooth me aswel…how i would really2 miss them and their jeerful smiles…i loved them so much to say goodbye now… they accompanied me to my car and said our goodbyes after i gave them my phone number…i left with a dreaded heart..

i later recieved an sms from fazirah 4permai..she wanted to know y i was leaving and wanted to come over the next day with some friends…then i got a call from shaline…she was so sad i was leaving…terharu betol…lagi2 when she told me that menaga wanted to prove to me she would succeed in maths…she also told me that a bunch of friends tried vainly to call me…huhu…..

the next day….around 10 students came over…and i got 4 gifts..i was so touched!well.. being a teacher was so great!…….to all my students…lagi2 menaga,megala,fazirah,noraini,sasha,shamini,afiq,shafiq,zul,mokhdar,methavan…i love u all..thanks for coming over..hope that one day…you all will succeed in life.. i all and your friends have my prayers….amin