TeeMs~Journal

Drawing skills increased but creativity decreased…

I never learnt drawing in my life… it just came as a natural

gift…since i was 7 years old, i was able to draw objects as it was. i

never thaught as it was something special or a gift..Since small, ive

shown my drawings to friends which they all didnt believe i drew

them…. since that, i always kept my personal drawings to myself..i

remember a time, i was in england and followed my mother to one of her

aerobic classes…i was bored watching and sat lonely at a corner…the

intructor saw me, and provided me a paper and pencil… i happily drew

the whole room… that suprised the instructor and was given praises…

the next time i followed my mum into her aerobic class, i saw that my

drawing was pinned up onto the wall… the lady said she was proud to

show it to everyone, and everyone was suprisd that a 7 year old me drew

it…i was confused…because at that time.. i didnt understand what

the fuss was about..i was attracted to images but i seldom drew…

during my teens, i learnt about japanese animation which my brother

introduced into my life… at that time, i learnt what creativity was

and my mind was full of wonderful ideas which sprung from no where…

it was so fun…i drew and drew… but of building and cartoons

ofcourse…friends and relatives complimented my creativity and

drawing…but i still wasnt satisfied.. i still had a weakness…i

couldnt draw living objects, faces infront of my eyes…i still

remember that i tried to draw electra, but it didnt turn out like

electra :D..haha..i remember the face of my friend jaida when she

‘ter’look at it…funny…i sucked at drawing people…

turning into near adulthood… i stopped drawing for 3 years.my

creativity left an empty hole…ideas didnt sprung out anymore..i just

dont know why…i just doodled like anyone could draw if i was bored…once in a while..i’ll draw my classroom..but i still kept them to myself..i knew i could only draw lifeless objects…

until that day… 7 may 2008…i drew my lecturer..en.syamsul

arrieya…i just felt i wanted to draw..and i was suprised…i did a

very good job!!it looked like him…but i kept it to myself…but

somehow.. it leeked out, some of my friends saw it and started to

compliment…they encouraged me to keep drawing which i didnt believe i

could do it anymore…so the next class came and i drew friends..it was

just a sketch but i was able to draw them to make others able to

recognise the person..i was suprised again on how much my mapping

skills became better until i was able to capture and draw…haha…im happy coz..i feel like myself again…

well…overall.. just wanto say thanks to friends who just gave that small leap to encourage me to belive in myself..ami, nani, cinda, liza, nik…i have a gift and i will use that gift to record memories in life including with all of u init…my creativity is still not better as before…i hope that one day some one will help me sharpen it again…..my drawing still isnt perfect yet…but still..im happy i am able to draw people who are not static..that’s an improvement…

friends… THANKS..i’ll continue drawing…maybe one day i’ll scan the pictures and u will see the pictures i dedicated to each person i draw…i draw people who i like…so that means i like u…=)   

ok..now this is another story about an aww lect of mine….

im not trying to say bad things bout my own lecturer..but this man has gone toooooo far…a wicked man witch…im suprised how many wierd sensitive guys i find in UPSI…Im sharing this so that others will understand that IT IS NOT THE WAY TO BE A LECTURER….this is a free world and i have the right to blog…im not slandering…this is 100% the truth…

well…my lect is purely hansome!i really mean it…no doubt..he IS HANDSOME…but…..he is too aww and gayish..i mean it coz ive seen him walk with his hand swinging side by side…waste of face dont u think?..other lecturers even say he is more interested in male students compared to male..is he really gay???we all dont like him…u cant blame us…y we dont like him???

1. he gives us tons of assigments which isnt in the syllabus to settle each week. we go for field work and take soooo much time doing otehr than concentrating on the 70% marks we get with the final system.we have to journalize our degree final year project so he can show it off for his own benefit(we didnt even give permission)…the main goal of this subject is in a group, we have to chose one product out of 5 products and develope it as a final year project. this person, wants us to combine a few into one information system product…the problem here is that we only have darn fewer than 10 weeks to go through analyst phase and all the phases until the product is developed and tested… the prob with this man..it seems he doesnt relies that not all of us are programmers! and that he wants a complete system and also including that he also wants us to add AI’s and such in this short time is so absurd….i cant figure out whats going on in his wicked mind…

2. he is a dictator for all i care…in his class…we all are forced to be actors…y? coz…he will punish those who dont stay focus in class… we have to look at him…repeat "LOOK" at him till his lesson finishes….there was this time…he was teaching DFD…for me, waiting for him to draw on the whiteboard was taking so much time, so checked the net for a DFD to refresh my memory..and what happened?????? i was called out to explain in front…thank goodness im a quick learner so i didnt have a problem… but…after me… he wanted someone to explain another thing and everyone was looking …repeat "LOOKING" and "STARRING"at him..so he had trouble calling someone out..then this girl looked at her book and suddenly she was his next victim….ppor girl..she stummered infront trying to explain something that wasnt taught in class…

3. he cant accept opinions….he would suddenly raise his voice if anyone seemed to challenge and protect their ideas that he didnt agree….he would also raise his voice to small things and stare till his eyes seems to pop out….so witch craft..haha..ok..and another case was last week…a group presenter forgot to great him and he lashed out throughout her presentation like an old lady saying unpolite words…could u imagine a guy membebel cam enenk tua???..all of the others were stunned…when our lect finally went out of teh class, that poor girl went out crying… i pitied her….she tried to be so strong to continue with the presentation like nothing mattered…

4. OK…and this…this is sooooo unacceptable… last week, a group asked him if he had Rational Rose Installer to do the documentation he always load on us each week……then he offered that he has been thinking that he’ll burn all the installers that we are capable of using into a cd for us… i know that everyone was thinking ‘finally…he has a heart!’….but…we were too early to praise him…suddenly in class today… all of received a CD and a cumpolsary order to pay RM10 each!!!that is sssoooooo lintah darat!i opened the CD and there was nothing i could use!basicly..the CD will just go into my ‘useless CDs’..wats init?just classnotes (which we all already have), a folder containing a UML tool software (which isnt rational rose!and i dont need it coz i already have the installer), and openoffice (which is open source and we are intelligent enough to find it ourselves)…really..when i showed it to my roomate from another group lecturer…she said that he is really wicked and the CD was rubbish…that CD should only be worth as much as RM3 only!!(CD=RM1, and RM2 profit)..just imagine…we have around 20 student in the class…that wicked man should get around 200 bucks today!!!, and all he used was a measly RM25 the max as model.all i can say is i tak halalkan duit yang dibayar tu sampai bila2 and i wont forgive him if he gives us other lower than A- considering our work is double the work the othr classes have to do..that is my money and i never wanted that useless cd in the first place…i know everyone was shocked and angry..but we have no say…we tried to go to other lectrers for help but nothing!!!we were then adviced to just follow him coz he holds our marks….its depressing…but…we just have to accept the suffering we have to endure by force…

so that’s our story of the wicked witch in UPSI….the identities has been secreted for privacy reasons…but let us be reminded…when we make people curse us…we will not be safe in the after life..Allah sentiasa ada….

assalamualaikum….

today….i would like to talk about people’s behavior…current

encounter that interest me was from a groupmate of mine…

have u ever had met that someone who talks big but doesnt perform like

they say? not only that, the immaturity that person showed in dealing

with a certain conflict suprises me….

well…this person who i’ll address as A, has a lack of interest as a

group member and teamplayer…when others bz themselves with groupwork

and that A would wonder about…when the time comes for A to do his

work(last minute), he’ll bz others to do it for him….???? u just cant

say because ur sick…u blame that cant do ur work and when ur not

sick..u act like u hold no responsibility…

satu lagi…This A..xleh n pantang ditegur atau dipressure sket!!…hehe..this other groupmember asked bout his

part of work..but got lasered…so, maybe that’s why they come to me to

remind him after that(which i didnt figure out at that time y they kept

asking me remind him)…and being me….i just come up to him and ask

his progress…it’s not fair we all work hard to get something done and

someone is lazing around…still…not saying that A isnt doing

any work, but what he does is just merely 1/4 of work compared

individually what we all get are striving each week and doing for the group…

So…the funny story begins…i email him, ym him, sms him kindly….but then

‘….’ no reply…the group is dumbfounded and we all are asking each

other of the work that A is supposed to settle.who will do it if A

doesnt do it??..he was missing in action…

sooooooo, what did i do? i smsed him a little

roughly bout his work to get his attention(i was like a bit upset with

him, that’s y i wanted to test him)…and wallah! i eventually got a

reply!made me giggle…got him fired up…haha..and im like ‘whats up

with u? im just joking’..other than acting as an child…he chose to

grumble and moan and blame me for  ordering him about…but still…

all that firing and attacking(which i malas nak layan tapi layan jela

until 2am)..nothing proved that he was doing his work for the

group…

overall..xterasa pun…coz i wasnt the one emotional…i just dealt it

like he was a small boy attracting attention…

the part which made me wanto laugh is were he goes and uses my words

against me…sounds like im talking to myself??:P..and im replying cooly like…’yes”terima kasihla utk

teguran’’suka atilah”nnt teem akan baiki klemahan’..but still..A isnt

satisfied and continues to nag like an old lady on me without self

reflection…xminatla laki yg byk kerenah ni…seriously…
haha

oh yes…there was one part where he told me that im blaming my

ordering attitude on my groupmates, the others are all ok with him and

bla bla bla…but it suprises me how negetive he is coz so far…y does

he think that when no one approach him when they are doing the work for

him??…what ive heard from the others is that they arent satisfied and

since kena laser that one time…they really dont feel like saying

anything to him…that’s when it struck me y my friends kept asking me

to remind A to complete his work..ahha

lastly i sms n told him that im going to do his part of the work with the others (considering

he has no progress yet and doesnt seem to want to cooperate) and that if he wants to help,

we’ll be discussing after class 2morrow….i just wanted to see how far

is he willing to accept responsibility and action as a MAN…And after class

today… he didnt even come to ask if he could help anyway!!! and the

part where he knows we are doing his work for him makes me feel how shamefull this

person is….donno y…a friend told me that he maybe felt challenged

considered he’s a guy and the others are girls..oh! come on…full of

crap…no guy should act that way…ive heard that mahadi was the only

guy in the group last semester, but he took responsibility well and

could be relied on…

now this is my type of guy….aint im right girls???

so now..u can judge how wierd this guy is???he’s 27 but then he acts

like a 4 year old..we should be able to rely on him as someone older and a man..but then???..u

figure it out…thank goodness my boyfriend doesnt moan and

grumble…bersyukur sangat dapat bakal suami yg xmerajuk cam ppuan….

sekian..
wassalam…

Pompeii….is famous with the history of it’s people turned to stone….but is that all? i checked and read more about Pompeii on the internet..

what did i find… my curiosity lead to another dark story and secret behind Pompeii…we always hear that during the times of our prophets,Allah will banish people who are uneager to believe in him and continue to follow immoral acts…i believe the sad and terrible massacre happened because of that reason…

if u look at the pictures.. u see hard rock bodies in many forms..some where asleep, mostly hugging and in a fallen down position..all the bodies seem like the terrible massacre happened in a split few minutes..but is that all behind the story of the land of Pompeii?

still intact as a reminder of Allah’s anger towards the people..here, u will see an image of just some of the pictures on the walls of Pompeii buildings…some of the images has already been bought down and stored at the secret museum…Pompeii is known for its homosexual,erotic and immoral behavior, either sexually done with man, women, or goat(animals)…somehow it has became so normal until the people of Pompeii don’t feel any shame decorating the walls of streets with sexual images of people performing sexual position…

so to me,after my search..now my curiosity has been answered… no wonder the people of Pompeii was banished from the earth…Allah was angry that they refused to hear or follow his teachings..Allah didn’t want them to generate another disastrous generation..

let this be a reminder to all of us… don’t forget that Allah has done this to many generations before us and can do the same to our generation and after us….NEVER FORGET TO PRAY, PERFORM THE SOLAH, READ THE QURAN ETC.. and NEVER EVER EVER become ignorant of his teachings.. don’t forget…when more than a half of the people neglect Islam, or Muslims themselves ignore Islamic teaching..then.. Allah  will send a disastrous fate on mankind…its scary, but you have to believe it..Acheh has been wiped by the tsunami… so never forget that Malaysia isn’t as safe from nature’s disasters as well…

let us always be reminded with pompeii….behind each body, there used to be a living heart..pumping blood into the vessels of life…now those hearts has turned to stone…a living nightmare….

- Cikgu Fateema & Her Curious Findings….
(with thanks & credits to the photographers who took the photo’s)

do you know what a snowflake is?

interested by a martha stewart show on snowflakes made me  remember my childhood artwork…it was near christmas and ms. cunningham had the class to draw out snowflakes, cut them out and hang them all over the classroom…


ive asked this question to some malaysian friends, and im suprised that they dont know what a snowflake is…well,maybe that is because it doesnt snow in malaysia and their idea of snow is just pure white snow where u make snowmans and through snowballs…never seen a snowflake before?type ’snowflake’ in the search engine, and see how beautiful they are for yourself…

well friends…for your info which i took from snowcrystals.com ..snow is made out of millions of snowflakes…and every snowflake has 6 arms and no pattern out of millions of snowflakes are alike…one of Allah’s wonders dont u think?…

why are they different with one another? it is because they grow independantly and each lifestory while growing up is different…

to make the story simple…a baby snowflake is born up high in the clouds when a cloud droplet freezes into ice…water vapor starts playing arond the baby snowflake and starts to freeze on it in a hexagonal prism shape…then the baby grows and grows and and start to form branches from the six corners at the same rate..the branches are base on cloud temparature…during the teenage life of the snowflake…it is being blown to and fro inside the clouds (a bumpy way of growing up dont u think?hehe)…..eventually..because each teenage snowflake go through different patterns of growing up…they end up being beautiful and unique adults…..

so the story ends here….

interested? surf the web…next question… can anyone answer me y snow is white? and not blue?green?or red?
what ive read so far is because it is made of millions of transparent snowflakes, when combined…it becomes white because it has something to do with the white light…

thats all for now…

hope u gained some valuable knowledge about life…

-Cikgu FaTeema