TeeMs~Journal

i was always thinking guys are like a stone…whcih i always call my hubby when im mad at him..hehe…but then..suddenly…im suprised myself too at how men can be as soft as silk sometimes….

have you ever watched a movie and cried of joy or sadness?i have..tons of times…before we were married.. my hubby will laugh at me and console me…yeah..i understand…men dont cry over movie’s which arent real..everything is juts a setup under the directors order..but it doesnt hurt to be passionate right? that’s y i thought guys are stones…;P

this incident happened lately…i have been watching this japanese drama of a successful high school boy who has 7 siblings and a useless mother n
father to support…after 3 episodes in Disk 1..i was like..”how dumb can this drama get?”..i was watching it without feel and passion…mostly just to waste time..i wasnt even laughing…time to change to Disk2…suddenly my hubby came home for lunch which he did if he was working around the area…we watched it together. after i brewed up some lunch for him..

at first he asked me what i was watching…i shrugged and plainly said i was watching something…he sat down beside me and i looked at his impression…i was suprised when i saw how he became entertained  watching this drama…he was smiling and really passionate…this made me feel suprised and started explaining to my hubby the characters he missed in the last episodes…i suddenly felt happier watching the drama..we started to jerk around and laugh together singing the theme song together..hehe..mentang2lah mak mertua xder kat rumah…(this is normal among us two)..doing anything with someone is much more fun than doing it alone…

second suprise came when we watched Disk 3 together last night which he was eagerly asking me to watch together…there was a scene where it was a bit sad and touching to watch……suddenly when i turned to my hubby.. he had tears in his eyes and smiling happily and with content….i started laughing coz suddenly i realised how cute and cute and ravishing cute he was at that moment…hahahahaha…….i hugged him tightly coz i couldnt stand him….he said that it was so touching and blamed me for making him pasiionate like that…just made me laugh more and more….

there he was.. a man i knew for 6 years…….we would fight over channels coz he loved football…we would fight over channels coz he didnt want to watch love movies with me…so we always compromise into watching detective and investigation series together….suddenly…just 3 months of marriage….he has changed and i realize…he can become a friend..more than a friend…but my companion with the same interest…

dear blog,

today is my 28th day in my period cycle…and im still clean..oh oh…yesterday i read the how to use pregnancy test wondering when im brave enough to test myself…ive been so excited of getting pregnant it suddenly occured to me that there are a million worries im holding….questions like “what if” “how do i” “can i” has been circling around me last nite…i suddenly look up to mothers with shining stars on them…how did they survive?hubby has been trying to calm me down…it seems im tearing in half..half of me is still on reality world…and half of me is panicking and worrying…im excited to test..but im also worried to test…aaaahhh!!!! reminds me of a indonesian drama i watched last week called “anak pendosa”..a scene where the girl holds up the pregnancy test which had positive results and she looked fainty…well..im no where like that girl coz i havent done adultry and im a married women so im suppose to get pregnant..but the fainting look she had might be on my face one day…T.T i think maybe i should forget about testing until im ready to face the truth…

2 days ago abah came and gave the chocolate and almond cookies that me and my hubby made in shah alam. they are my hubby’s favourite but it seems i forgot to bring them along to bangi…so i smsed by hubby saying that i had a suprise for him….he had a wide smile later on. munching happily at his long missed cookies.that night he approached me and said “do you want to know what i thought the suprise was?”..i nodded…he said that he thought i was pregnant…suddenly a pang struck my belly…it occured to me that i might be pregnant…im scared and wooried if i am pregnant, and maybe dissapointed if im not….donno what to think…

summary…thinking it out…i might just leave it to Allah’s work and let Him do His miracles…if i am pregnant…alhamdulillah..if not…its not the end of the world…just like the malay saying “disebalik segala yang berlaku ada hikmahnya”…just have to stop thinking bout pregnancy and be happy.if it wants to happen, it’ll happen..sabar separuh dari iman….i have my hubby..and he is family…let Allah decide when i’ll expand my family…=) i have my faith and optimisme that everything will go well..

love u all,

Fateema

The title above is read while putting a groovy melody with it…teng teng teng

ehem…~ first of all..congrats to Pn. Fateema Dzulkifli for completing the 3 months practical course at SMK alam megah 2 and along with an action research to present to my lecturer…wishing on a wishing star…this is the best i could do.. really hope can get that marvelous ‘A’ that  im aiming for… Amin…

Now im staying for 3 weeks at Bangi…at my mother in Laws place…this is my 2nd day..so far so good..they are working parents so im free to roam the house…adat mengemas n keeping home tidy is all i can do to show gratitide…haha..but most of my time is infront of astro when i finish my work…cam jakun lak…cant blame me coz i dont have astro at my own home…huhu…its funny..before marriage i was so scared of my mother in law and dreaming  of her as an  evil witch…it turned out she is a nice lady..(i feel so ashamed)…she turns out very sweet especially when she smiles coz she has very high cheek bones..(i think my hubby gets it from her) ..life is happy…thinking of cooking tonite….hmm..what will i cook??ayam masak merah?lemak?gulai?

mainly of my openess and excitement of having a baby…recently i keep getting this question a few times you know…”y are you planning on a baby?you just got married..enjoy you time together..”…and how many times i ask myself… i still get the same answer “im happy to be together but it lacks something…it lacks proof of our love…we’ve been in love together for 6 years…having a baby will make this relationship much more meaningful and fun”… yes… im aware i’ll be tired, moody, baby crying in the night, poop, vormit, exhausted,angry..but i know one day i will have to face it but im facing this with my hubby who also wants a baby…im excited to try it out…=) just one thing that worries me dearly…i really2 hope i get posted to a school were i can live with my hubby…i cant live alone…im independent in work but im like a tree…i grow.. i support birds and grow fruits… but to do that, i have roots and need the ground were i can dig my roots deeply in..so far..only my mother and hubby have been the ground…without them…i can breakdown coz i become weak from stress…i faint..vormit…mainly coz i have low blood pressure…that’s dangerous…especially  if im pregnant…Ya Allah..tolonglah hambaMu ini…tolong mudahkan urusan dan bagiku peluang pekerjaan dekat dengan suami…amin

suddenly im stressed out..oh..oh..fateema..calm down…Allah will put you in selangor somewhere nearby…dont worry… He loves you and never will leave you alone…dont worry… everything will be ok…just believe in Him..

=) im glad i have Allah…

Oh yeah..wanto take this oppertunity to say congratulations to a few friends of mine…~~~*****

1. Jasmin- for surviving the surgery..you looked lovely when my family came to visit..thin..its shocking coz u look tiny…but you’ll be bigger the next time i meet u

2. Cikgu Liyana- hope u had a wonderful wedding =) sayang sebab xdapat jumpa when i attended your wedding…will miss talking with u..taker of the children

3. Cikgu Cinda - InsyaAllah… will attend your wedding…hope u all the best =)

4. SYABAS- sepang main pipe burst..if it wasnt for your fast reaction…bangi would still be waterless…and i will be sweating like a pig now…but congrats to my hubby who went and helped out on calls and long hours of work..love you

5. Mimi- cikzah bgtau yang mimi baca blog ni..thats y she knows bout the baby..thanks for caring..it was great getting medical advice from your mom n lala…;D

K.thats all for now…taaaa….se ya in a few more weeks

well…well… well…hello to Pn. Fateema Dzulkifli….My life as a new wed is great… still feel like im in a dream…each day passes with me feeling like im going to wake up any day in bed alone and lonely as a single..yesterday my hubby brought back the 100 softcopy photo’s we chose from hundreds and hundreds of digital phptos we have to print at the shops..the photo’s are just lovely!!some from our wedding, honeymoon, dates, raya…together we arranged them in our photo albums which was given to us as our wedding gift while laughing and hugging and smiling and teasing..haha..donno what my parents think seeing us like this..whatever it is..we are the lovey dovey couple who wants kids and are ready for creating a new family of our own…+)

well..whats up lately?? puasa and practical season is over so im ready to get a bigger belly..haha..trying to get a baby now..hope i get pregnant soon… =) InsyaAllah..trying to get a boy..but if i get a girl.. that’s Gods will…i will love my child dearly…got a husband that is rajin and willing to share responsibility and housework and doesnt grumble…so im not worried about having a child with a man like him..oh~ im so lucky (if my hubby reads this..sure kembang seribu metre hidung dia..ahax)

Yestreday i got my plate set..very happy….cikgu liyana sent it to me in her car…i love something lovely at a bargain price… a 12 piece LENO amber glassware set at only 89.00!!great! also ordered a melamin set for my future kids…loved the design…also at a bargain price..dont want to get glass broken in my kids hands do i? =)…2morrow my camera is coming into stock at giant…a new model olympus camera… 1050 SW..shock and waterproof..suitable for a girl as butterfingers as me and i dont have to worry bringing it anywhere or letting my children play with it…ive been waiting for a camera of my own…donno if i’ll like it…hope i will..if i dont.. i just have to suit myself to 1040 olympus that sits as my 2nd choice…

money..money..im spending a lot aint i? hehe…i should save…minyak dengar nak turun tapi… harga barang cam %*#~…..huhu..goverment have to do soemthing bout this..lama2 makan meggi je nak saving…